'Pretty Little Liars' Anonymous
I have a secret. Well ... it's probably not much of a secret to people who know me, but I am ridiculously obsessed with the show, Pretty Little Liars. So much that after each episode I Google theories and the latest recaps, just in case I missed something. And yet, I don't have a theory of my own. Which is totally messing with me. Because I always have theories. Who is A???????
And if you're thinking, like, aren't you in your 30s with a husband and child? I say listen to what I say: You are never too old to love teen dramas that are steeped in mystery and unbelievable circumstances. I am never too old. I watch the Disney channel, for fun. Like seriously, I unabashedly am waiting for the release of The Descendants. Pablo Picasso said, "It takes a long time to become young." And I say, true that.
Maybe it's because I read a lot and I'm a writer myself, but figuring out story lines usually isn't too hard for me when I watch movies or TV shows. I'm usually the person logically telling my husband/sister/friend what's going to happen next (maybe shouting it), if not completely, then pretty close. Take Criminal Minds, a show I find almost painful to watch because of the gruesomeness of its content. And yet, I have presence of mind enough to have figured out plenty of cases. Yet, I cannot for the life of me figure out Pretty Little Liars. Give me my life back, show!
This is what I have noticed: Johnny from Season 1 was actually shown in the shadows watching Spencer when she was outside at a party. At first glance, he looked like a freaky Toby, on second glance, it's definitely Johnny. Does that mean anything? I've seen nothing of it in other theories. Also, stop saying that Aria is A! Toby is not A either. Maybe it's Wren?
I don't follow "Marlene" as so many fans casually call her by her first name as if they're best pals. A friend of mine once jokingly complained how annoyed he was by the masses of people who used to talk about seeing "Dave" in concert, as if they were BFFs with Dave Matthews. Whenever I hear someone say "Marlene" I always think of "Dave." And it always makes me smile how these two eras are converging on me. (Mindless rant OVER). BUT, people who do follow her have the best clues and theories. I just let other people inform me of these clues and then I think about it and still come up with nothing.
Still, why haven't I figured this out? This show has kept people guessing for five years, so it must mean it's good and I can stop doing the Pretty Little Liars walk of shame. Between blind Jenna, Sarah Harvey, Jason, Ian, Sydney, Wren, Johnny, Spencer's rehab guy, I just don't know. I DON'T KNOW.
Rehab guy, help me stop thinking about Pretty Little Liars. And in the meantime, check out this chick's blog ... She's got memes and pictures and recaps and THE 15 MOST UNBELIEVABLE THINGS ABOUT PRETTY LITTLE LIARS
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K.M. Randall writes fantasy and paranormal for both a general and young adult audience. Her debut novel, an epic fantasy called Fractured Dream, launched in June 2014, and her second book, The Reaper's Daughter, launched May 2015. Randall also published Fairytale Lost, a prequel to Fractured Dream, as an exclusive on Wattpad. She blogs about dreams, female heroines, and activism and its relevancy to the literary and fictional world. And when in the season, sometimes she just likes to talk about Halloween. She is currently hard at work on the second book in the Dreamer Saga series, Shattered World.